ATO Men of Destiny

A Vastly impactful event our chapter had the opportunity to pilot In the fall of 2019.

Our chapter was gifted the chance to be the first to experience this new national fraternity program through two sessions with Wynn Smiley, the Chief Executive Officer of Alpha Tau Omega national fraternity. During the two sessions, we talked about topics related to our mental health and roadblocks in our life, as well as interpreting our individual results to the Birkman Assessment we took a few days prior to the event. This assessment aided us in revealing vital skills and interests we might not have known we possessed. It was and still is an honor for our chapter to be selected to pilot this program as we were one of two Alpha Tau Omega chapters chosen nationwide.

Brother Jake Baffa Speaks On his experience + the impact of the ATO Pilot Program:

When our chapter was notified that we would be missing a Friday night and all day Saturday for some ATO event that Nationals picked us for, the general attitude held by many members, myself included, was “really, they had to pick us?” After the weekend was over, the general attitude held by many members, myself included, was “thank God they picked us”. It was a weekend unlike any I have ever experienced. It made me feel something that I think most college students struggle to feel comfortable being uncomfortable. Friday night, as we sat in our Memorial Union waiting for our pizza to show up, whispers of “what even is this?”, “why are we here”, and “I wish I wasn’t here right now” began to emerge from the awkward silence. Then Wynn Smiley began to speak, and it seemed like something had switched in our brothers’ heads.

That night, our brothers got the unique and incredibly valuable opportunity to take the Birkman Assessment and analyze our results with a professional. We all left Friday night with a more optimistic view of what Saturday would be like. I felt a bit inspired, a bit interested, yet still apathetic. Saturday was, without a doubt, one of the most life-changing days of my life. Throughout the day, our chapter was encouraged to dig into ourselves, into each other, and into the world around us. We were taught philosophy on purpose, calling, and careers. We asked ourselves, and each other, what we wanted to do as young men ready to begin our real lives. All of these answers were placed on a “Calling Quilt”: a grid of squares that each contain something that made me, me. I was lucky to be one of two brothers that shared the meaning behind our quilt in front of the chapter.

Here is what I learned: I sat up there, rambling about stories and people and relationships that have changed my life immensely, expecting to see brothers on their phones or whispering to one another. Nothing. Pure attention. They wanted me to know that they were there, and they were with me. I left Saturday afternoon knowing that my brothers care about me and will be with me no matter where I take life, or where life takes me. I struggled to talk about some topics, despite my life being a pretty bland suburban white kid lifestyle. Troubled past relationships, terrible moments in my life, insecurities with myself, a bunch of stuff like that. I thought I was doing pretty bad at making them care.

The brothers that were giving me their attention suddenly gave me something else, powerfully albeit silently: empathy. It might have been their faces. Maybe it was just their aura. But I had a feeling that there was a room full of family listening and caring about me. I have spoken in front of people before. I have never felt like that. I left Saturday afternoon knowing that my brothers would console me, laugh with me, and struggle with me when I need them to.

When I was finished, as I took my first full breath in five minutes and sat down, another brother presented his quilt. We were polar opposites in almost every way, and nobody knew it before he started speaking. Where I was comfortable talking to groups, he was much more shy and a better one-on-one talker than I ever could be. While I slid through the beginning of my life with little more adversity than hard schoolwork, he struggled with issues that I couldn’t imagine going through. While I was pretty much a cookie-cutter cutout of a normal frat guy, he had one of the most unique stories I have ever heard from a kid my age. It was beautiful.

I left Saturday afternoon knowing that I was part of a group that broke through every single barrier to truly bind men together in a brotherhood that knew no single type of person, but instead knew the virtues we hold so highly. There will be 208 weekends while I am a college student (if all my classes go well). And on any of the other 207 weekends, if you asked me what I was doing, I would say something like, “Doing what college is all about!” as I go off to party with my friends. But I think that this one weekend, the one that our entire chapter dreaded as it approached on the calendar, was what college is about: digging deep inside yourself and finding what makes you you, and sharing those moments with the people that you love. That is what college, what growing up, what life in general is about, and ATO gave us the opportunity to get all of that in one weekend. We will be forever grateful and hope that more chapters get the opportunity that we did.

- Jake Baffa, C/o ‘22